We are going out for dinner tonight. I love going out to eat, but for some reason, it has been a very long time indeed since I have last hit the fine linen. And it would have to occur right after Karen gave an inside- the- kitchen report of the bouncing, bathing salmon steak.

Yep, it’s been a very long time. How long, you might wonder ? Well, so long ago that when I told Han when I last went out for dinner- exactly-, he asked me not to mention it to anyone.

That long.

Via my beloved baby-board, a must read : both Mike and Meg just ran into my little room of my own to see what I was guffawing about.

Now, where did I stash the code that David ( he smiles a lot – see TEFL on the blogroll) sent to me ?

Ah ! Here it is !.

Coming back from the market today, I passed an elderly man walking down the street. He had a puzzled look on his face and didn’t seem to know just exactly where it was that he was heading to.

As I opened the front door, I wondered if that would be me one day, roaming up and down the streets of town, with a puzzled look on my face, perhaps trying to find the past once more or wondering where it all went to, so very quickly.

I wonder if the stones that I walk on today will haunt me tomorrow.

The other day… alright, yesterday… I was reading some comments about how women seem to change once they have kids. Oh, it was put very politely and so took twice as long as what I’m going to say, but basically, they wondered why women became such driveling bores once they bred.

Now we are on my turf, my home ground, so to say, for I can drivel with the best of them. I’ve been thinking about that this morning. I know that I have become a bore, even though I do have other interests besides the offspring. I think one part of it was back when I was dewy eyed and dreaming of sniffing talcum powdered bottoms, I just never even began to realize how soul consuming having kids is.

Now all of my kids are in school- didn’t I wallow about when Meg took off last fall for school ? The end of the physically exhausting days of running after kids, trying to prevent their imminent death from occurring…imminently. Yes, life is easier on that front.

But what is building up now are the emotional demands of having children ( although why I bother – since everyone always blames the mother anyway- is beyond me), the mentally draining attempt to keep their lives happy and on a good path. To not only re-live the simple pleasures of childhood but to confront- once more- the cruel little bastards that everyone else’s children are.

And then there are those external forces, those dark spirits who lie awake at night, trying to think of ways to extract even more of your persona from your soul, for the kid’s sake, dontcha know ? Here, read this and tell me this isn’t exactly what you would want on Mother’s Day :

On Mother’s Day this year, the pernicious forces that be seem to expect me to appear on a football field at stinkin’ 9.30 AM on a Sunday morning for a rousing game of Mother-son football.

Eh ?

Now, if this was in the afternoon and I had been primed with a few beers before hand, I might consider it. But to make a flaming fool of myself ( yuk-yuk!) in public before the caffeine has even hit ? The mind must be cleansed of any dregs of dignity before this kind of good natured carousing, one must cease to exist as an individual and merge oneself into the role of Mother- of- Abu first.

At times, being the wee earth mother is very under-rated indeed, it seems.

( One should be playing Janis in the background, here, take another little piece….)

As a last note for today, I must mention the fact that Sally could not go horse-riding today ( Han had a big business-man meeting this evening). As she gets older, she lives more and more for the moments that she is on a horse. All of her birthday money goes towards the purchase of odd things, much like a horse version of a fine manicure set.

Needless to say, she was VERY disappointed to learn this morning that there would be no riding today. No, she was actually thrown into a pit of misery.

But she is a generous child, and did her utmost – all day- to allow us to share her miserable day as well.

A bright spot is feeding the tadpoles: I enjoy that very much, which is a good thing as it seems that I am always feeding them.

We have a dreadful lot of tadpoles.

Want some tadpoles ?

And how can I resist this one ? Eh- ‘In one end and out the other’ ?

( Aw, that’s really gross.

I know.)

I am having one of those days, you know, when life would have been much simpler if I had just stayed in bed this morning. And it has left me in a mood most foul.

First- as a tip to anyone starting in the DVD sh*t- like me- don’t transcode the 12 episodes of the Simpsons while you are awake, and planning to use the computer. No, do what those in the know do, and start transcoding once you are headed off for bed. Why, by morning it will be all done and you won’t even have noticed it. Wah-Lah ! Did you know that transcoding sucks every single bit of strength out of even the strongest of computers ? You learn something new every day.

Today I had actually planned on renewing my Dutch passport ( hear that ominous note in the background, right around that past tense word : ‘planned’?). I had all of the papers and my ugliest-passport- photos- ever-taken- on- two- continents all ready and organized and I couldn’t. find. the. stinkin’. old. passport. I looked everywhere. Twice. In fact, that is what I did today, instead of doing anything even remotely useful.

No, wait ! I forgot ! I brushed Elvis for an hour. Now, on any sensible dog, what I did today would have taken 10 minutes, for sensible dogs don’t yelp and howl at the very sight of the brush. I had but to touch a hair and that fool yelped and carried on, in the greatest of pain, so it seemed. I am surprised that the older woman next door- the one who finds it impossible to speak in anything less than a chapter ( ‘I just love animals. I’ve belonged to the humane society in W. for 104 years. Why, when my husband- he died a number of years back, and we never had children, but I just love children ( here the eyes always tear up) but I often go to visit my sister…).didn’t call the SPCA.

Did you know that the strongest dog in the world is a newf ? Perhaps I could sell tickets : come and view the largest, strongest wussette on two continents.

And I f*cked up the Simpsons thing.

Where is my bottle of wine ? Is it about that time yet ?

( Background : Mike has very obviously seen something about Ritalin on the Simpsons. Ok, just get it over with and shoot me, I confess : no, I don’t pre-watch every show that passes the cherub’s dear, sweet eyes. But he brings Ritalin up on a rather regular basis, once- oh- maybe – every 6 weeks. Although he watches The Simpsons on BBC, in English, he always translates the children who need Ritalin as being druk { a bit more than busy. All right- hyperactive.})

Today after lunch, in the schoolyard, waiting for the bell to ring-

Mike : Do you think that I need to take those pills for children who are druk ?

Sue : No.

Mike : So- you like me just the way I am ?

Sue : ( I know you Mike- you are setting me up) Most of the time.

Mike : So, you don’t think I need pills ?

Sue : No.

How I have enjoyed Kinga’s ( Kinguk on the blogroll there ) and Joy’s ( The workout Diaries) wedding pics.

Aw, I’m such a sentimental slob- aren’t they both so lovely ? And don’t I wish them all of the best ?

( Fire- whatever that I have insists that I must actually type in the links with my own, precious fingers. Bah ! It is late- go see the lovely brides via the blogroll-)

Rather out- of- the- blue, Meg has started dressing herself in the mornings. Take- for example- today. I went upstairs to get her and there she was, fully clothed and just beaming with pride about that fact.

She had chosen a bright orange and yellow jersey summer dress for today, as well as a pair of hot- pink Capri pants ( slacks…trousers…whatever). Unable to find a suitable pair of socks in her sock drawer ( read : what goes in, comes out) she slipped on a pair of Mike’s socks- army green and cream and finished the ensemble with her strappy, glittery blue sandals.

I confess : I never know what to say at times like this. For one, I’m thinking : ‘pot calling kettle…’ and for another, she was just so pleased with her efforts and the results thereof. I most likely said something like ‘Oh ! Look at you !’.

Now, is that ambiguous or not ?

However, I have told her – quite sternly- that tomorrow I am choosing her clothes for school.

We shall see…