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Nuts

Posted by Mummy Dearest on Jun-2-2004

My plan to avoid confronting the architect was going pretty well, I was upstairs in the playroom, working on the couch, when I heard The Father let him in. I was feeling rather clever, even smug, until I reached for a cigarette : the box was empty.

I went into the kitchen ( where they were sitting), wearing my best, cheerleader smile and waved a gay ‘hi’ to the boys. I had forgotten how much he looked like John Denver. He gave me a big smile and said ‘Hoi Mummy Dearest !’. Then I really felt like a shit, for it was obvious that he was really pleased to see me, that he was in fact hoping I would join them at the table and chew the fat. But I waved my little box of cigarettes in the air, gave a great big smile and left.

Later on he- of course- wanted to see how things looked and they finally ended up in the playroom, where I was stitching away. He was amazed at how much extra space the rebuilding had given us and the girls’ rooms were larger than expected.

After he left, The Father came up to tell me how the talk went, and once again, he commented upon how big our house was now. I couldn’t help it, I had to remind him about how the idea to run the roofs parallel to each other had made all of the difference. I had to remind him that that was my idea, an obvious solution that the architect simply couldn’t come up with on his own.

Then my snit fit was over. And I went back to what I was doing before The Father came over- sewing on the couch and thinking that I would give my left nut for a curved needle.

I’ve always- by the way- wanted to say that, you know, the ‘I would give my left nut’ line. I never did before as, well, I don’t have any nuts now, do I ? But as I was upstairs sewing, I realized that that didn’t matter at all- it wasn’t like someone was going to suddenly appear with a curved needle and demand a left nut , was it ? It wasn’t like those with nuts really mean it either, that they have an exacto blade ready in one hand in anticipation of making a trade. So I felt very unshaven, very beer- farty, sweaty even, sitting on the floor upstairs, thinking that I would give my left nut to have a curved needle.

Sean Penn-y, even.

  1. Julie Said,

    heheheh why dont they say right nut ??? always left.. that is such a funny saying and I laughed
    out loud reading it…my friend Kathie at home
    always called her husband.. “numb nuts” …hey how
    did Mike like that super duper great looking
    full moon last nite.. it was really pretty …

    p.s. tho they always say “Id give my RIGHT arm”
    hahha

  2. sue Said,

    I actually was wondering why the left one ? Maybe it’s a boy thing.

    And shhh! about the moon ! Gosh, that was funny though, wasn’t it ?

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