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Time Fold

Posted by Mummy Dearest on Mar-21-2005

As I was thinking the thought, turned on my left side on the bed, watching the round face , watching the curly blond hair, the curved eyebrows, the months old being that was The Girl sleeping, being overwhelmed by the love that I felt for her, the understanding of her- the first one, after all- I knew that I would always remember this moment, and that it would haunt me. I’m no fool, everyone bitches about going to Mom’s for Mother’s Day, so somewhere, down that road ahead of us, terrible things most likely were in store.

But at that moment, as I watched her sleeping on the bed next to me, I could not imagine anything, nothing at all, that could ever push me away from her, nothing that could separate us. How I loved her.

And I knew that some day, something would. It happens all of the time. Do you go out of your way on Mother’s Day ?

It has. Nothing dramatic, but the course has changed. It’s only been a few inches, but those few inches go off onto another tangent, in another direction. Nothing dramatic but I don’t want to go there. I want it to be where I am an ear, not a nag.

The Father says that we shall put things back on a good course together.

I hope so. For, somehow, The Girl and I have moved apart.

And I can hear her side so well. After all, of all the children, The Girl is the one that I can read best.

Being first born and all.

  1. jo Said,

    All I can say is have faith. I went through the same with my Mom…so alike and I couldn’t see the forest through the trees.
    Later I started asking questions, and eventually she became the best girlfriend. Now even though we are several states away we talk daily. I can tell her absolutely anything.
    I will sometimes preface with, ‘I don’t want the Mom answer to this one’, and she will counter with, ‘Well, I AM the mother here, so….’
    Just trust, it will be so.

  2. sue Said,

    Unfortunately, I had to ban her from the horse today. I hated doing that, I hate being so mean, but as a result, she and I have been talking things over and tonight we will talk once again, with old Pops mediating. I have my points and she has a few that are right on target as well.

    Guh.

  3. Catherine Said,

    Poor you – hope things smooth out soon, and that the few inches shift back in your direction.

  4. sue Said,

    Actually, Catherine, today has gone very well so far. But then, she really didn’t believe that I would actually keep her home from horse riding to day until about 15 minutes ago.

    Hmmmm….and I owe you an email as well…hmmmm… but hoping things are well with you all.

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