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Posted by Mummy Dearest on Sep-30-2005

Today, I went to The Big City. When I came home, I- as usual- could not have carried one more thing. My elbows ached, in fact.

The Baby was very disappointed, for usually I appear at the front door like Santa out of season, bearing things for every one. Today, most was for myself.

Most of what I bought was clothing for myself. Before I set off this morning, I was here : the only pair of jeans that fit me were a pair that made The Great Move over here in 1982. While it is nice that they fit once more, all of my other jeans looked like denim Chinese baggies.

And I found myself standing in front of a shop door which told me- in acid yellow- that I had arrived in the middle of the dwaze dagen. For some reason, I found the idea of the sale of the century irresistible this morning.

I came home with three pairs of pants, which I love and make me blush, and two tops that will do. My favorite tops always came from the men’s section of L.L.Bean and I have yet to find another line that I like so well.These tops were from H&M, nice colors, fabric too thin for my taste.

But the pants, oh, I love them. Two pairs of blue jeans and one chocolate brown corduroy pair. They were labeled as being boot leg, but they are not. I grew up in the 70′s, I know the difference between a boot leg and a bell bottom. They are bells.

All three are 27W, 30L, the size that I wore in college. Sounds great, but it isn’t : having a baby at 42 equals stomach which calls a sharpei to mind. Immediately. The pants get even more vulgar : I suspect that there is spandex in them, for sure in the cords.

And, like wearing naughty drawers which no one will ever see, they are all cut very low at the sharpei waistline. Here is how low : when The Girl came to see what I had bought, she said, how cute!.

When a 12 year old calls the clothes that you have just bought cute, there is no doubt about it : they are inappropriate for your age.

Unless you are 12.

And then she said this : they make your legs look so much thinner.

How can you fight that ?

Since I usually wear sweaters which look like something out of the men’s section of L.L.Bean, casual strangers will never know what lies beneath that woolen bulk.

But I do. I like it.

My reasoning for buying clothes in a size that I last wore for a short time after The Boy was born ( read : 10 years ago) is as follows. If I keep wearing the bag lady clothes, I won’t notice if I am gaining weight. With these, I will.

It sounded good at the time.

And then I bought myself a pound box of Leonidas chocolates. A custom box, all dark chocolate, and, yes, some of the marzipan, no, no creams, and yes, that one I like.

We shall see how long my new clothes fit me.

  1. blackbird Said,

    how nice of you to buy new clothes whilst I am doing “what are you wearing?” for my show and tell…

  2. sue Said,

    Next post shows me wearing pants that a 12 year old finds cute, a shirt that I bought at Penny’s last year for about two bucks, a watch my dad let me borrow, all while I balance on the edge of a bathtub.

    I fuzzed the shit out of the pic, to hide the fact that the mirror is dirty and my hands are not steady enough to deal with a long exposure time.

    While I balance on the rim of a tub.

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