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Dachau

Posted by Mummy Dearest on Oct-12-2006

The other evening over dinner, The Father said…. wait, let me back up to that morning.

I get up a half an hour earlier than The Father. For one, I am extremely slow in the morning, and two, I wake up The Boy and The Baby, both also a wee bit slow in the morning. They do enjoy walking the dogs with The Father, though, at about 7.20, and so the early rising gives them a bit of time to eat breakfast, change into their walk the dog clothes and, well, just wake up.

Now, I am blind as a bat. That morning, I told The Father to close his eyes, I had to turn on my light, I had to find my glasses. I was- I am afraid, as usual-of wandering about starkers.

He must have peeked.

So, the other evening over dinner, The Father said that I was too thin. Politely put, all of my more interesting parts had vanished. He asked me what I weighed now, and I said, oh, about 45 kilos. At 5’2, at my age, being about 100 pounds is not that bizarre, at least to me. I have told him in the past that as I approached 50, I had a choice : to be a short little fat Auntie with curly blue hair, or one of those more slender older women. I did not want to be a fat old lady.

Over dinner, though ( and this was a very serious conversation), he told me that I looked like someone who had just been liberated from Dachau. Was I now an anorexic, he asked ?

I said no, I wasn’t. Most of the weight loss has been because I was boozing it up quite a bit since- oh lord, how long ago was it ?- that last miscarriage perhaps, and had gotten that under control once more.

The other thing is simply this : I’m never really hungry. I don’t know why this has happened , age perhaps ? And I am very, very fussy about what I do eat now : I only eat something that I really, really enjoy. I no longer eat to be polite. Why, tonight, I am going to rip into a bag of Engelse Drop, an item I usually loathe but have the most intense craving for at the moment.

I heard about my bony face ( most likely a polite way to say that I am looking haggard), the skin sagging on my arms, the good parts having taken off for Bora Bora and all that I could say to Han was that-well, I’ll get the rubber tits next year.

He insisted that I gain 10 kilos.

Sure thing, kiddo.

I asked him if he had noticed that I wasn’t hiding under sweatshirts and baggy clothes any longer, in fact, I was actually buying clothes. Me, buying new clothes.

I also suggested that he take me out for a fancy dinner.

Just a thought.

  1. Catherine Said,

    And a very good thought it is too!

  2. Mary Said,

    What a yucky situation. I’ve always felt, though, that as long as healthy, we ladies need to feel good about how we look!

  3. Karan Said,

    Soooo…does your doctor think you are too thin?

  4. sue Said,

    Karan, of course not. I am not underweight, I am hooter-less. Beyond training, beyond band aids.

    Only 706 more posts to go through and this place will be caught up !

    Then I will go and f*ck up the CSS, won’t I ?

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