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The Scent Of A Woman

Posted by Mummy Dearest on Mar-7-2011

So, we have these two , really big male dogs. One is an elderly Newf  ( do not let that sleepy face fool you- he is ready to kill in a minute… this is Elvis) and one is a 2 year old Pyr. Destin. Cute name for a Pyr. Sortof.

A Pyr is a Sheppard, ( some one tell me how to spell this..). Desty has started patrolling the house.  He prefers outside, but he does make his rounds inside. He watches that broken gate with an eagle eye.

Destin is really big. Not fat or fluffy, he is very tall and slim. I have worked on his weight since he entered Casa Kitchen… fat is bad for puppy that is going to zoom up to Neptune. Bad for his joints. I really do have to measure him one day …the road to hell and all.. I think I have to do this from the tip of his shoulders to, well, the floor. But everyone says, my, what a big dog. His sister is a European Champ, she and Desty look like clones, but Desty will never cut the grade. I think. And I no longer care.

Destin is much larger than Elvis right now, although Elvis is invulnerable, because of his thick coat of fur.  And we are getting the Alpha male shit.

Let me back pedal a bit …So, we have these two , really big male dogs.  And they have never had their balls sliced off. I could say neutered, but we are saying the same thing, just different words.

We have dog testosterone flying around here…

I am always at home with Elvis and Destin.  I like them in the kitchen. Comfy. Stinky, but comfy. But when they start the Alpha Male shit, it can be frightening.  I once got caught in the middle of this dog fight, and I was screaming for help. Really. No one heard heard me.

And then I remembered Destin´s Achilles´s heal … he is terrified of water. Squirt gun. It no longer has water in it, but the sight of that squirt gun stops all fights, be a good boy, Destin.

Destin is a very strange dog , he knows that I am sick. This bothers him. A lot. He is whining and licking me all of the time.

And both dogs know that I am a woman.

I suppose that I should be flattered, in some sort of way, after all, I am 53 years old.  But having these dogs licking the chair that I sit upon, the tiles beneath it and running after my crotch, non stop pisses me off. I cannot fill the water bowl without getting these two noses assaulting me.

I am still sick. I am cranky.  I need a nap. I should eat something…

  1. Catherine Said,


  2. Mummy Dearest Said,

    Eeek indeed. You know me Catherine. We have had two big dogs for about thirty years. Not the same dogs, of course, but I have always known what to do. And have done it. Did not like always doing it, but, hey, dirty job, has to be done.

    I really got scared , Catherine. You know how big they are. I was at the kitchen sink. Scrubbing something out. And it started. These dogs make hideous noises, but as long as they are lying about, they are playing. But when they go on their hind legs, we are going Alpha Male.

    So, I might be cleaning out an ashtray, at the sink. And these two very big dogs- one on each side- are on their back legs. We are seeing foam, we are seeing fangs, and there I am, scrub brush in my hand. Two dogs taller than I am fighting and I am in the middle.

    This is the only time that I have ever been really afraid of our dogs. I screamed. I knew the big boys were home. Help ! Please, help me !

    I ended up solving this myself. I cannot remember how.

    Having said that, these are really good dogs, Catherine-

  3. Dorothy Said,

    Yikes. Glad you are ok & glad the alpha show was short. We occasionally had that happen, but outside. Never lasted long. They still are the cutest things ever!

  4. Mummy Dearest Said,

    I love our dogs, Dorothy, but they are beyond cute. I have to handle this pack thing.. you know this. I am 5’2 and weigh between 48 and 50 kilos- this is another post-. I have to be the leader of the pack. That squirt gun was my best idea. So far. Today, they grabbed each other’s ears. This is good. This is vulnerable.

    They really have to solve this thing themselves.

  5. Catherine Said,

    I am wondering, by the way, why my womanhood goes completely ignored by both our guinea pigs, and whether I should be offended!

  6. Mummy Dearest Said,

    Catherine- they are too short. Unless you have the best ankles around. Which you might. But I have no idea if rodents are into ankles.

  7. Catherine Said,

    By George, you’ve got it – I have very bad ankles indeed.

  8. Nikita Cat Said,

    Silly Dogs.

    I was fixed when I was a Kitten, and it did me a world of good, psychologically.. ;-D

    My young Protege, Elvira Mistress of Pussydom, has offered to come over and kick their sorry asses into line for you, but I told her that it just wasn’t feasable, as you guys aren’t exactly down the street, hee, hee! ;-D

    BTW, Our Human, your old friend Kiril The Mad Macedonian, sends his best wishes to you, and hopes that all is well with you these days.

    He enjoys checking in from time to time, and reading those posts that he can, and he introduced us to your old archive of Cat Posts, which we think collectively serve as a great tribute.

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