Number 1 : Hiccups ( I had to look up how to spell this).

I really cannot remember a time when I did not laugh when someone- could be me , could be you- had the hiccups, we are going back to Pamper time. And this drove my Mother – a very temperate woman- crazy.

We would be together and she would get the hiccups. And I would start hardy harr- ing away. She would ask me, very politely, to * hic* stop laughing. Now I am about to fall off of my chair, I am laughing so hard.

She is *hic* getting quite annoyed with me, perhaps she *hic* thumped her hand on the kitchen table.Now I am on the floor, rolling around, trying not to piss my pants, I am laughing so much.

I have made a lot of progress with this, for it is rude to laugh at people who have the hiccups, but deep in my soul, I find hiccups hilarious.

Number 2 is Rubbers

I am very old and very fortunate, for I came of age in that small window of time between the Sexual Revolution and the advent of AIDS. I had fun, I was lucky, this is a serious business, but the sight of a filled rubber has always sent me immediately to the floor, rolling around, trying not to piss my pants, I am laughing so much. If you think about it, this works as well as a rubber.

But it is time for someone here to have that secret stash in the wallet. It really is a serious health issue. But I can’t do it. This is really serious and the sight of a rubber makes me laugh, I don’t think I could keep a straight face. And I could never do the banana business. Do people actually do that, or is this some Urban Myth ?

I actually discussed this with The Girl last night. We are going to dump this whole business on The Boyfriend. And I asked her if she really thought that it had to be a Banana, could it be a cucumber ? I know that I can never do the banana business. We were having a serious conversation and she paused, thought about it and said that it has to be a Banana.

Babies are really cute, but what a morass we walk into , unaware.

I really cannot believe that whole banana business. And, if true, what are you supposed to do with that poor banana after education hour…nope, I’m not even going to think about that.